couple walking

Time For A Relationship Review?

Relationship Reviews or audits are a great way to bring your relationship front and centre where it belongs.  Whether you are starting out on your journey together or have been a couple for many years, having regular reviews of your relationship can help you both to remain connected, achieve shared goals and enjoy life together.

Bringing your relationship into focus can also highlight areas for improvement, challenge resentments that can build up over time, and plan for a successful future together.

It's important to keep lines of communication open, and spending time together talking and listening can help to alleviate stress and anxiety in your relationship.

When having your review, remember to focus on the positives at first, take it in turns to speak and listen, don't interrupt the speaker, and whoever is listening can summarise at the end, so that the speaker knows they have been heard, understood and ultimately feel valued.

So, here are some questions to ask each other:

1 - What do you appreciate or admire about me?

2 - Do you feel content or satisfied, and are your needs being met?

3 - Are you happy with the way we divide household roles and responsibilities?

4 - Are you happy with the frequency and quality of our sexual relationship?

5 - How is our friendship? Are you happy with the quality of our emotional and intellectual intimacy?

6 - Is there anything that is holding you back from achieving your goals within our relationship?

7 - Is there anything I’ve stopped doing that you used to like?

8 - Is there anything I do that you'd like me to change?

9 - What’s something specific I can do this week to help you feel loved or supported?

10 - Do we have any emotional wounds that still need help resolving and healing?

As you discuss the above questions, you may be thinking 'why don't I feel satisfied?' or 'why do I feel disconnected from my partner?'  It's at times like this when you need to reflect on each others' needs and question if they are being met.

During your discussion begin to explore areas for improvement.  Be honest and open to constructive criticism.  Listen to each other and try to imagine how your partner might be feeling.  Be gentle when presenting issues and suggestions for improvement.  Make sure not to criticise (destructively attacking their character, personality, or history), but instead to make actionable suggestions that focus on solutions that will help bring you closer.

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